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“By all these lovely tokens, September days are here, with summer's best of weather and autumn's best of cheer.” —(Helen Hunt Jackson)
Hello, my lovely friends!
The calendar says September, and honest to goodness, my brain completely checked out of summer the second the page turned. Even though it is still pushing nineties outside and the pavement is hot enough to melt your shoes, my soul is fully wrapped up in a chunky sweater. You know that tiny shift in the air that happens right around now? It is hard to describe, but the light hits a little differently in the evening and the morning breeze has this crisp, sweet smell to it that whispers fall is on the way. I know I am jumping the gun, but I just cannot help myself this year. I am so ready for the cozy season, the pumpkin everything, and just a totally different energy around the house.
Speaking of fall energy, I have been turning over my holiday blog plans for weeks now, trying to figure out when to pull the trigger. I finally decided that the very first official day of autumn is going to be our kickoff. I am feeling this unexpected surge of motivation to really go all out for the holidays this time around, and a big part of that is having Mike here with us. He did not grow up with the kind of big, warm, cozy holiday traditions a lot of us take for granted. For him, Christmas was usually just a quick handoff of a gift card and a quiet afternoon, which breaks my heart a little bit. We want to completely turn that around and show him how fun and full of love this time of year can actually be. He is obsessed with all things spooky, horror, and Halloween, so the next two months are going to be a absolute blast in this house. Honestly, after feeling like we have been stuck in a weirdly heavy rut for the past couple of years, this feels like the exact spark we needed to pull us out of it and get us excited about life again.
On a heavier note, we finally drew a firm line in the sand with my mom and all the medical runaround she has been dealing with through Kaiser. Last week was just the final straw. She went in for that biopsy, but they ended up canceling the whole thing right then and there because she was fidgeting too much, even with the sedative they gave her. Their brilliant solution was to schedule her for actual hospital surgery just to put her completely under for a basic test, which sent her into an absolute tailspin of anxiety for an entire week. She was worrying herself so sick that her blood sugars kept crashing three nights in a row, which is so scary to watch. Then yesterday morning, the day of the procedure, her sugar plunged again in the middle of the night, her nerves were completely shot, and she was genuinely terrified she was having a heart attack.
That was the absolute moment I said enough is enough, and we canceled the whole thing. My sister and I are sitting down to draft a very direct letter to Kaiser to let them know that playing these endless games is over. Ever since March, all they have done is run test after test, dragging her back and forth, only to come up empty-handed every single time because there is literally nothing there to find. We are putting our foot down and giving them an ultimatum. Either they give her the routine injections she actually needs to feel better, or they approve her to go out of network to CU, where the doctors actually wanted to step up and treat her months ago. We are all completely exhausted from the runaround, and watching my mom sit there in constant pain and tears while they drag their feet has been utterly heart-wrenching. The second we officially canceled that appointment yesterday, you could just feel a massive weight lift off her shoulders. She was instantly brighter and seemed more like herself, which proved to me how much this constant medical stress has been tearing down her mental health. Some days she has been so overwhelmed she barely knows which way is up, and nobody deserves to live like that.
Today feels like a much-needed reset for all of us. She has a quick dentist visit this morning, and after that, we are taking a mental health day to go hunt for Halloween decorations. Our local Spirit Halloween just opened up its doors, and it happens to be right next to Barnes and Noble, which is basically my paradise. I have my heart set on picking up a copy of that Phantom of the Opera retelling called Our Last Duet, and I am definitely grabbing a stack of those glossy autumn lifestyle magazines to flip through with a hot drink later tonight.
We are also holding out a lot of hope for Mike on the job front right now. His savings have pretty much dwindled down to nothing, so he has been aggressively applying for anything local over the last couple of weeks. Luckily, we live in an area that is completely surrounded by distribution centers and warehouses, and he already scored an interview with Amazon for this Friday. The best part is that it is only about ten minutes from the house, which would be such an incredible setup for him. We are all keeping our fingers tightly crossed that it goes well and he can start getting a steady paycheck again soon.
I really hope you are all having a gentle, sweet week so far and taking some time to breathe. We are looking forward to the long holiday weekend ahead, cooking up some kind of delicious end-of-summer feast, even if we have not quite decided on the menu just yet. Tell me, are you team summer forever, or are you already pulling out the autumn candles like I am?
The calendar says September, and honest to goodness, my brain completely checked out of summer the second the page turned. Even though it is still pushing nineties outside and the pavement is hot enough to melt your shoes, my soul is fully wrapped up in a chunky sweater. You know that tiny shift in the air that happens right around now? It is hard to describe, but the light hits a little differently in the evening and the morning breeze has this crisp, sweet smell to it that whispers fall is on the way. I know I am jumping the gun, but I just cannot help myself this year. I am so ready for the cozy season, the pumpkin everything, and just a totally different energy around the house.
Speaking of fall energy, I have been turning over my holiday blog plans for weeks now, trying to figure out when to pull the trigger. I finally decided that the very first official day of autumn is going to be our kickoff. I am feeling this unexpected surge of motivation to really go all out for the holidays this time around, and a big part of that is having Mike here with us. He did not grow up with the kind of big, warm, cozy holiday traditions a lot of us take for granted. For him, Christmas was usually just a quick handoff of a gift card and a quiet afternoon, which breaks my heart a little bit. We want to completely turn that around and show him how fun and full of love this time of year can actually be. He is obsessed with all things spooky, horror, and Halloween, so the next two months are going to be a absolute blast in this house. Honestly, after feeling like we have been stuck in a weirdly heavy rut for the past couple of years, this feels like the exact spark we needed to pull us out of it and get us excited about life again.
On a heavier note, we finally drew a firm line in the sand with my mom and all the medical runaround she has been dealing with through Kaiser. Last week was just the final straw. She went in for that biopsy, but they ended up canceling the whole thing right then and there because she was fidgeting too much, even with the sedative they gave her. Their brilliant solution was to schedule her for actual hospital surgery just to put her completely under for a basic test, which sent her into an absolute tailspin of anxiety for an entire week. She was worrying herself so sick that her blood sugars kept crashing three nights in a row, which is so scary to watch. Then yesterday morning, the day of the procedure, her sugar plunged again in the middle of the night, her nerves were completely shot, and she was genuinely terrified she was having a heart attack.
That was the absolute moment I said enough is enough, and we canceled the whole thing. My sister and I are sitting down to draft a very direct letter to Kaiser to let them know that playing these endless games is over. Ever since March, all they have done is run test after test, dragging her back and forth, only to come up empty-handed every single time because there is literally nothing there to find. We are putting our foot down and giving them an ultimatum. Either they give her the routine injections she actually needs to feel better, or they approve her to go out of network to CU, where the doctors actually wanted to step up and treat her months ago. We are all completely exhausted from the runaround, and watching my mom sit there in constant pain and tears while they drag their feet has been utterly heart-wrenching. The second we officially canceled that appointment yesterday, you could just feel a massive weight lift off her shoulders. She was instantly brighter and seemed more like herself, which proved to me how much this constant medical stress has been tearing down her mental health. Some days she has been so overwhelmed she barely knows which way is up, and nobody deserves to live like that.
Today feels like a much-needed reset for all of us. She has a quick dentist visit this morning, and after that, we are taking a mental health day to go hunt for Halloween decorations. Our local Spirit Halloween just opened up its doors, and it happens to be right next to Barnes and Noble, which is basically my paradise. I have my heart set on picking up a copy of that Phantom of the Opera retelling called Our Last Duet, and I am definitely grabbing a stack of those glossy autumn lifestyle magazines to flip through with a hot drink later tonight.
We are also holding out a lot of hope for Mike on the job front right now. His savings have pretty much dwindled down to nothing, so he has been aggressively applying for anything local over the last couple of weeks. Luckily, we live in an area that is completely surrounded by distribution centers and warehouses, and he already scored an interview with Amazon for this Friday. The best part is that it is only about ten minutes from the house, which would be such an incredible setup for him. We are all keeping our fingers tightly crossed that it goes well and he can start getting a steady paycheck again soon.
I really hope you are all having a gentle, sweet week so far and taking some time to breathe. We are looking forward to the long holiday weekend ahead, cooking up some kind of delicious end-of-summer feast, even if we have not quite decided on the menu just yet. Tell me, are you team summer forever, or are you already pulling out the autumn candles like I am?
I appreciate you stopping by more than you know. Wishing you a truly lovely day, whatever you up to. Take good care of yourself until we meet here again!
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