Broken, But Not

 

Almost to 100 Days

 

"Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last you create what you will." (George Bernard Shaw)

 

Hello, my lovely friends! 

 

    Wow, we're already zooming towards the 100-day mark of 2025! Feels like January 1st was just around the corner, right? Remember that fresh start energy, all those plans bubbling up for a more organized, healthier you? Have you had a chance to dive into those goals yet? What were the big things you were hoping to accomplish this year?

 

     Feeling stuck in a rut? Now's the perfect time to shake things up and inject some fresh energy into your routine! Or, if you haven't quite gotten around to starting those new habits or projects, consider this your official launchpad. Take a moment to reflect on your goals and aspirations, and map out a clear plan of action. I'm even revisiting my own resolutions from the beginning of the year, taking stock of what I've accomplished and identifying areas where I can refocus my efforts. 

 

Here's a glimpse into what I envisioned for myself back then:

1. Clean Eating
2. Stick to a Fitness Routine
3. Write it down
4. Vitamins, vitamins, vitamins
5. Get Organized
6. Let it Go
7. Be Selfish
8. Be Positive
9. Pamper Myself
10. Live Life with Passion 

 

    You know, I've been putting in the work on all of it. But honestly? I could definitely dig a little deeper and push myself harder. I mean, I've been focused, sure, but there's always that extra gear you can find if you really try. It's like, I've been running a marathon, but I've been pacing myself for a casual jog. I can feel that I have the energy to sprint, to really push past my current limits and see what I'm truly capable of. I've been ticking off the tasks, sure, but I haven't been truly challenging myself to exceed expectations, to innovate, to find new and more efficient ways of doing things. I've been comfortable, and comfort is the enemy of progress. I need to break out of that comfort zone and really strive for excellence, not just adequacy. It's got me thinking about what I've actually done and where I can really step it up.

 

 Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope your morning/afternoon/evening is extra cozy and delightful. Until our paths cross again!

Just the Facts #8

 

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." (From A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh)

Hello, my lovely friends!

 

 

You know the drill, it’s Friday Funday! Let’s talk about all the animals in my life through the years. Let us all know about the special animals in your life.

 

 

1.  Okay, so our first dog was this majestic beast, a German Shepherd named Charlie. Now, picture this: I'm this tiny human, like three years old, right? So, my memories of Charlie are kinda fuzzy, mostly because he was clearly in cahoots with my sister. I think he saw me as more of a chew toy than a companion. Anyway, the drama! One day, poof! Vanished! We think some dog-napper swiped him right out of our backyard. We never saw that fluffy cloud of German Shepherd again. It was probably the first time I experienced true heartbreak... or maybe I was just bummed someone took my sister's favorite slobber machine. Who knows at that age?

 

 

2. We finally ditch the apartment life and BAM! New house, new rules, and most importantly, a new furry overlord. I'm maybe six or seven, still figuring out which end of the crayon goes in my mouth, and suddenly we're at the animal shelter. It felt like a puppy buffet! All these hopeful, slobbery faces, and then... there she was. A black poodle. We, in our infinite childhood wisdom, christened her Buffy. Yeah, like the vampire slayer, only way less stabby and way more prone to chasing squirrels. That fluffy black tornado stuck with us through awkward school dances and questionable fashion choices until I was about fifteen. Then, just like that, our little Buffy went off to chase the ultimate squeaky toy in the great beyond.

 

 

3. So then there was the Great Goldfish Era. It started innocently enough, right? A little bowl, a couple of orange dudes swimming in circles. But oh no, that wasn't gonna last. Suddenly, we needed an upgrade. Next thing you know, we've got a full-blown aquarium, practically a tiny public pool for these scaled celebrities. And of course, they all got names. Why wouldn't they? They were practically family... until they weren't.

Then came the solemn backyard burials. Tiny cardboard coffins for tiny departed souls. Seriously, imagine being the poor folks who bought our house later. They're out there planting petunias and BAM! They unearth a miniature graveyard of former finned friends. I bet they thought the place was haunted by the ghosts of forgotten goldfish. Good times. For me, anyway. Maybe not so much for the future gardeners.

 

4. On my 17th birthday rolled around, and you know what a cool teenager wants? A cat, obviously. Specifically, a black cat. So, off we trekked to the local animal shelter, which, let's be honest, always smells faintly of hope and a little bit of pee.

I was on a mission, people. I was strolling past all the cages, giving a little tap-tap-tap on the glass, expecting some kind of dramatic feline recognition. Nada. Zilch. These cats were clearly unimpressed with my window-tapping skills.

Then, BAM! This little dude – a black and white cat, mind you, totally not according to my meticulously crafted plan – sees my tap and goes full-on bouncy castle. He's leaping, he's pawing, he's practically screaming, "Pick me! Pick me, you magnificent window-tapper!"

Well, what was I supposed to do? Resist that kind of enthusiasm? No way. He was the one. Turns out, some folks had just dropped him off like an hour before. Seriously? Their loss was totally my gain. It was like the universe knew I needed a slightly off-brand black cat in my life.

So, I named him Rio, after my absolute fave Duran Duran album (because, you know, I was a cool teenager with excellent taste). We had nearly ten years of pure, unadulterated cat shenanigans. Then, the absolute worst happened feline leukemia came along. Saying goodbye was the pits. But man, those years with Rio? Totally worth every single window tap.

 

5. After my awesome cat Rio crossed the rainbow bridge, I was done with pets. Ten whole years of peace and quiet! Then, wouldn't you know it, some bonehead tried to break into my house. Suddenly, the universe was like, "Hey, guess what you need? A furry alarm system!"

So, off to the shelter we went. It wasn't exactly love at first sight with any of the pups at first. We made a few trips, kinda like Goldilocks looking for the perfect porridge, until BAM! There she was: Miss Bella, our beagle. Turns out, this sweet girl had been living the street life before some kind soul scooped her up and took her to the shelter. And get this – she'd already done a shelter tour! Apparently, she was a bit of a scaredy-cat, so the shelters were hesitant to place her with a family with kids. Jokes on them, right?

We had that little beagle for a glorious ten years. Then, in December of 2017, the same year my dad passed from old age, Bella's body just started giving up. It was heartbreaking, but we knew the kindest thing was to let her go. Talk about a tough year!

 

6. Back in March 2018, it was just Mom and me, and it felt like something was missing – a dog! We checked out a few places, but nobody really clicked. Then one night, scrolling online, I saw this big dog's description, and it just screamed "Bella" to me – no kids, found as a scared stray. It felt like a sign from our Bella that this was the one.

We went the next day to see him, but someone else was already in there. Then this sweet little old lady was holding this tiny dog, and he was just glued to her lap. We figured we'd take a peek at the little guy while we waited for the other dog. Well, this cutie waddled in, did this adorable little wiggle walk, and that was it. My heart melted. This was our dog. And that's how Scooter came into our lives. I even thought about naming him Hamilton, after Lewis Hamilton, the F1 driver, but yeah, Scooter just suits him perfectly.

 

 Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope your morning/afternoon/evening is extra cozy and delightful. Until our paths cross again!

Is It April Already?

 April is a time of wonder, when the spring peepers emerge from hibernation and begin to call, when robins and redwing blackbirds come back north, and when new green life appears. That is one of the greatest of all wonders, the growth of a bud and a leaf from a seed or a root that has lain dormant in the earth all winter. ~Hal Borland

Hello, my lovely friends!

 

     Okay, so here it is April, and it's always a tough one for me. Part of me is so ready to shake off the past and get back to really living, but it feels like a cruel twist that this feeling hits just as this month rolls around. The 14th... that'll be eight years since I lost my Dad. Sometimes I sit here and think it's only been eight, you know? It can feel like yesterday. Honestly, there isn't a single day that goes by where he doesn't pop into my head, multiple times even. It used to be that those thoughts were tangled up with a lot of sadness, guilt, and regret.

 

    It's funny, isn't it? For so long, when I thought of Dad, it was just... his death. A black hole of sadness. But over time, that's shifted. Now, when he pops into my head, it's not just about that last day. It's about him.

 

    I find myself smiling at the silly things he used to do, the way he'd always call me "Paula Rachel" – just him, no one else ever did that. And I can almost hear his voice sometimes. Sure, there's still a pang, a sadness that he's not here. But I try to steer my thoughts toward those happy, funny memories. That's who he really was, you know? Not just the end, but all the life he lived.

 

     It seems Mother Nature has decided to take center stage this week, orchestrating a full-blown symphony of rain, snow, and a persistent chill that's going to keep us indoors. Monday's brief window of sunshine feels like a fleeting intermission in her grand performance. With the outdoors essentially off-limits, I'm seizing this opportunity to immerse myself in the world of my garden. I'll meticulously sort through my seed collection, envisioning the vibrant tapestry of plants I want to cultivate. I'll sketch out detailed plans, mapping the garden's layout and considering companion planting strategies to maximize yields. I should also make a trip to the local nursery to pick up some high-quality potting soil, ensuring my seedlings get the best possible start. And I'll need to organize the grow bags I acquired, figuring out the optimal arrangement for each, taking into account sunlight exposure and plant needs.

 

Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope your morning/afternoon/evening is extra cozy and delightful. Until our paths cross again!

 

Kindness To Yourself and Others

 

Need To Figure It Out

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they're supposed to help you discover who you are." (Bernice Johnson Reagon)

 

 

Hello, my lovely friends!

 

     So, you might've noticed I've been a bit in and out lately, and I wanted to touch base about it. Huge apologies for the blog silence – things have been a little whirlwind-y on my end.

 

    On the home front, Mom's still dealing with pain, but thankfully, we're seeing more good days than before! It's been a journey. Honestly, the biggest headache has been navigating Kaiser; it feels like she's been getting bounced around a bit. The one bright spot has been her kidney doctor – even though he's out of network, he's been a real lifesaver.

 

    All this pain has really taken a toll on her overall health. Her blood sugar's been up and down, and her A1C is higher than we'd like. They've been adjusting her meds, trying to find the right balance. She's off Metformin now, and her insulin dose has been increased. Unfortunately, they can't move forward with her back treatment until her numbers come down.

 

     It's been rough seeing Mom go through this, and honestly, it's been dragging me down too. Her moods have been all over the place, and lately, it feels like anger is the default setting. We've been butting heads a lot, and it's just wearing me out. Nighttime has become my refuge, those moments catching a movie and just chilling with Mike after a chaotic day. Having him around this past week while he was on vacation was such a relief.

 

     And speaking of Mike, it's wild – we've had this connection for a year now. We're actually planning to meet up this summer and see what happens. It's the strangest, most wonderful thing to feel this kind of bond with someone.

  

    You know, by the time evening rolls around, all I crave is sinking into the couch with a movie and Mike's company. It's funny 'cause even though it's snowing right now, I can feel that warmer weather just around the corner, and with it, I know there'll be more ways for me to unwind. I'm really looking forward to getting my hands in the garden again and taking Scoots on some longer walks, just the two of us. I just need to get a better handle on my time and stress levels, you know? I also have this feeling that if I actually made time to blog, it would be a great outlet.

    So, yeah, I'm making a promise to myself to be more present here and get some better blog posts up. My sister's been on my case, telling me it's time I got a little "selfish" and actually focused on what I need for a change.

Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope your morning/afternoon/evening is extra cozy and delightful. Until our paths cross again!

 

Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope your morning/afternoon/evening is extra cozy and delightful. Until our paths cross again!

Just the Facts #7

 

 "Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make the instrument stretch -  what makes you go beyond the norm." (Cicely Tyson)

 

 Hello, my lovely friends!

 

 Baseball's heating up! Since it's in full swing, I thought we could chat about sports and my past experiences with them.

 

1.  Man, those summer mornings at the community pool were the best! My mom and the neighborhood crew would be up before the sun, hustling to snag us all spots for the free swimming lessons. Each year, it was the same exciting progression, moving up to the next level. But that final hurdle? The diving board. It loomed like a monster to my ten-year-old self. Blame it on 'Jaws' and that eerie feeling of the deep unknown, but that thing was pure terror! I remember one year, my patient instructor was in the water, cheering me on, and I'd walk out onto that board, heart pounding, only to chicken out and walk right back. Did that for a whole summer! But something shifted the next year. Maybe it was the thought of another year of diving board dread, or maybe I just finally had enough. Then, just a few days before the pool gates closed for the season, I did it. I jumped. And then? I couldn't stop! Up and down, over and over. That fear just melted away with each splash.

 

2.  Summer nights on our block? Pure magic. As the days stretched long, we kids were a force of nature, turning the street into our playground. Kickball battles raged, bases marked by stray shoes, and the cheers echoed between houses. Then there was the thrill of hide-and-seek, the shadows our allies as we plotted the perfect hiding spot. But "Freeze"—that was something else. Waiting for the hush of twilight, the distant hum of an engine, and then BAM! Instant statues in the car's fleeting headlights. Talk about a rush! Weekends were epic, especially when the kickball came out and our dads joined the chaos. My dad? That guy had a cannon for a leg! You'd see the ball soar, and the grown-ups would be lined up on their driveways, laughing and catching up while we ran ourselves ragged. Those were the days, weren't they?

 

3.  Ringers and tetherball? Recess was on! Most days you'd find me soaring through the air on those ringers, skipping one to really get some speed. Yeah, those blood blisters were a badge of honor, even if Mom wasn't thrilled. Tetherball was my go-to on "ringer rest" days, and honestly, having a pole in the backyard? Hours of glorious spinning battles!

 

4.  Man, pro wrestling's been my jam since way back! Growing up, Sunday mornings meant AWA with my dad, and then BAM! WWF took over. Living here in Denver, I've hit up a ton of shows, even some TV tapings and PPVs. It's totally my number one guilty pleasure, always will be. You know what's wild? When I was working security at the airport after high school, the wrestlers came through after a show. Snagged autographs from Bret Hart, The Undertaker, the whole deal!

 

5.  Growing up with my dad working at the University of Denver meant Friday nights often involved Pioneer hockey! We'd grab a quick bite at home and then head to the rink. Those stadium hot dogs were practically our dinner as the four of us settled in to watch. My mom? She was all in! Even after my sister started at DU, we kept up the tradition, though she'd be up in the student section – the legendary "Bleacher Creatures." When it was my turn to be a Pioneer, Dad still managed to snag tickets, though maybe not quite as often since the team was busy racking up championships!

 

6.  That 8th-grade trip to New Mexico sounds like a blast! With a big group from three schools, they offered some cool choices for excursions. Since horses and I weren't exactly a match, white water rafting it was! Honestly, it was way more fun than I expected, and the rapids weren't too wild. The funny part? When I got home and told my mom, she was totally surprised. Apparently, "getting wet" didn't exactly fit her image of me, but hey, sometimes you gotta shake things up!

 

Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope your morning/afternoon/evening is extra cozy and delightful. Until our paths cross again.

Its Getting Better Out There

 "You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result." (Mahatma Gandhi)

Hello, my lovely friends!

Well, I hope you’re all enjoying and having a relaxing weekend. Jack Frost has left the state and went to other places and the warm sun has come out. It was so nice and sunny yesterday that many neighbors were out washing their cars and cleaning their yards up. We did neither, but we were inside doing some deep cleaning upstairs in our T.V. area. We were able to open up the windows and get some fresh air inside. Today we’ll finish up the rest of the upstairs.

       Anyone starting spring cleaning? It’s something that we want to get done ahead of time. Once the time is right to get outside and work on the yard we’ll be out there gardening. Since we’re able to get snow even in the month of May, mostly everyone knows that you don’t plant outside until after Mother’s Day. So, we have a bit a time before we get outside. I still want to get everything deep cleaned before this month ends and we can just plan the garden and get things together for the month of May. I’m always sad to see winter and the snow go, but this year I’m eager to get outside and start planting.

 

     My mom made bell peppers the other day and she had such a good time cooking. She said we should do that more and I agree. It was nice cooking with my mom. She doesn’t think she can do things like that anymore, but she did. She did hit something the other day that she doesn’t have confidence in herself with almost anything since my dad’s death. Now I have to find something for her to do to build her back up and cooking together and gardening will help out.

 

 Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope your morning/afternoon/evening is extra cozy and delightful. Until our paths cross again!

Feed Your Soul

 

Just the Facts #6

 "The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." (Dr. Seuss)

Hello, my lovely friends!

 

 Happy Friday Funday! Let's ditch the formalities and dive into the wild world of Paula. You've seen glimpses, sure, but this week, I'm pulling back the curtain and revealing the inner workings of my delightfully chaotic personality. Get ready for a peek behind the madness!

 

1. Think of me as a connoisseur of the mundane. I have opinions—strong ones—about the perfect pen stroke, the ideal paper texture, and the only nail polish that truly sings to my soul. And yes, there's a very specific, almost artistic, way I load groceries onto the conveyor belt. It's not OCD, it's... curated chaos. A personal symphony of preferences, if you will.

 

2.  I'm the picture of serenity, a walking zen garden... right up until you find my 'line'. It's a long, long line, but once you step over it, you'll wish you hadn't. I'm a laid-back soul, but mess with my mom, sister, nephews (all three!), or brother-in-law, and I'll redefine 'protective'. I'm a tiny titan of fury, ready to throw down. Don't mistake kindness for weakness. You'll regret it.

 

3.  My internal thermostat is perpetually set to 'chill.' I inherited this from my dad, a man who could probably defuse a bomb with a well-placed shrug. Tomorrow's problems? They're future-me's headache. And if I can't wrangle fate into submission, why bother throwing a tantrum? I'd rather save my dramatic energy for deciding what to have for lunch.

 

4.  I operate on a 'laugh first, ask questions later' policy. My brain's a bit like a browser with too many tabs open, and most of them are memes. Since life's already given us a hefty dose of drama, I'm just trying to balance the scales with giggles.

 

5.  I'm a walking, talking, sugar-coated giggle factory with a side of delightful oddness. What you see is what you get! If you find my brand of sunshine appealing, wonderful! If not, well, more sunshine for me

 

6. Imagine a cozy, quiet room filled with books and soft light. That's pretty much my ideal social scene. I'm an introvert, and I've always found my peace in solitude. I cherish the few close friendships I have, each one a rare and beautiful gem. Forget the popularity contest; I was always more interested in the quiet corners of the world.

Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope your morning/afternoon/evening is extra cozy and delightful. Until our paths cross again!

Be Back Friday

 

Mourning Our Loved Ones